What I Wish Every Parent Knew

After being an OT for well over two decades and working with children and families at Rainbow Tree Therapies for over a decade, there are a few truths I wish I could gently place into every parent’s heart, especially those raising children who move, feel, sense, or experience the world a little differently.

These are not quick fixes.
They are anchors.

Here are the six things I wish every parent knew:

1. Your child is not broken ~ their nervous system is communicating

When a child melts down, avoids movement, clings tightly, or seems “too much” or “not enough,” it is rarely about behavior alone.
It is communication.

Children express stress, overwhelm, fear, and unmet sensory or emotional needs through their bodies long before they can explain them with words. When we shift from “What’s wrong?” to “What is my child telling me?”, everything changes.

Your child is doing the best they can with the nervous system they have in that moment.

2. Regulation comes before learning, behavior, and compliance

A child who is dysregulated cannot access higher-level skills, no matter how much encouragement, reward, or consequence is offered.

Before attention, listening, emotional control, or learning can happen, the body must feel safe, supported, and organized. This is why movement, rhythm, breath, connection, and nature are not “extras” but rather they are foundational.

Calm is not something we demand.
Calm is something we co-create.

3. Movement and sensory experiences shape emotional health

Climbing, swinging, digging, pushing, carrying, running, rocking are not just ways to “get energy out.” They help wire the brain for balance, body awareness, emotional containment, and resilience.

When children struggle emotionally, socially, or behaviorally, we often need to look beneath the surface at posture, coordination, sensory processing, and how their body feels from the inside.

Supporting the body supports the heart.

4. Nature is not a luxury ~ it is regulation medicine

Time outdoors does something no screen, worksheet, or indoor strategy can fully replace.

Nature offers rhythm, predictability, challenge, wonder, and grounding all at once. It invites children to move naturally, breathe deeply, take risks, and reconnect with themselves.

In nature, many children show us who they truly are ~ curious, capable, playful, and alive once the pressure and overstimulation fall away.

5. You do not need to do this perfectly to be a good parent

Parenting a sensitive or differently wired child can be exhausting, emotional, and at times isolating. There will be moments of doubt, frustration, and grief and that does not mean you are failing.

What matters most is not perfection.
It is presence, curiosity, and self-compassion.

When you soften toward yourself, your child feels it.
When you slow down, their nervous system follows.
When you trust your intuition, you model resilience.

6. It is okay to ask for help and to advocate for your child

You were never meant to do this alone.

Asking for support is not a sign of weakness or failure. It is an act of wisdom and love. Whether that support comes from therapists, teachers, healthcare providers, or community, seeking help gives your child a wider circle of care.

Advocating for your child may feel uncomfortable at times. You may be told to “wait and see” or to trust systems that don’t fully understand your child. Your voice matters. You know your child in ways no one else does.

Advocacy can be quiet or fierce.
It can look like asking better questions, requesting accommodations, or trusting your instincts when something doesn’t feel right.

You are your child’s safest advocate.

A Final Thought

Your child’s journey is unfolding exactly as it needs to. With the right support, understanding, and environment, children grow in ways that are often deeper and more meaningful than we ever imagined.

You are not alone in this.

And your child is more capable than you may have been led to believe.

Lisa Haverly

Occupational Therapist

Rainbow Tree Therapies, LLC

www.rainbowtreetherapies.com